Adam’s Cider
Adam makes good cider,
But if all you want is booze
You can buy a pretty bottle
Of the stuff that Bulmer brews
To every ton of apples
There’s a ton of sugar beet
Which he presses and he mashes
At a regulated heat
The resultant is conducted
To a stainless steel retort
Where it’s rapidly fermented
To the strength of British Port
Then it’s pasteurised and sterilized
And fined and watered down
And clarified and saccharined
And tinted golden brown
Then it’s flavoured and its seasoned
And it’s fizzed with CO2
And put on supermarket shelves
For Mugs like me and you
This chemical decoction
Is as close to Adam’s cider
As the Radnor District Council
To the Mullahs of Al Qaida


